January 2011
15 posts
GIRLFRIEND COME GET IN THE SHOWER WITH ME!
The best part of a relationship, is getting to...
GOING TO WORKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! COME OPEN A CHECKING ACCOUNT, SAVINGS ACCOUNT, CASH A CHECK, ASK ME A BUNCH OF STUPID QUESTIONS, I DONT GIVE A SHIT COME VISIT ME!
all time low orders pizza.
pizza hut: hello how may i help you?
matt: i'd like to make an order for 12 large pizzas.
pizza hut: would that be delivery?
matt: yeah.
jack (in background): I'M FUCKIN' HUNGRY BITCH HURRY UP
matt: excuse me one moment... SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB BITCH DO YOU WANT YOUR PIZZA OR NOT... yeah sorry uh...
pizza hut: what would you like on your pizzas, sir...
matt: one cheese, three pepperoni...
alex (in background): NO ONE FUCKIN' LIKES PEPPERONI
matt: TOO BAD BITCH. sorry.
pizza hut: ...it's alright sir...
matt: four pizzas, right? so eight more....
pizza hut: yup that's correct.
matt: can i get two supreme -
vinny (in background): HELL YEAH LIKE MY DICK SO SUPREEEEEEEEEME
matt: ......
vinny (in background): WHERE MY BITCHES AT?
matt: NOT HERE. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
vinny (in background): PASS THE JAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
matt: i'm so sorry.... VINNY SHUT UP WE'LL GET YOU YOUR JAGER. anyways. six pizzas down. six more. uhh...let's get one veggie....
zack (in background): FUCK YEAH VEGETABLES
rian (in background): FUCK OFF BITCH
matt: um... uh.... four meat lovers...
jack (in background): EVERYONE LOVES MY MEAT
vinny (in background): MINE'S BETTAAAAAAAA, IT'S SUPREME!
matt: ...and a hawaiian....yes, a hawaiian.
alex (in background): EW NO THAT HAS NASTY FUCKIN' PINEAPPLES ON IT
matt: ...too bad. again, i am terribly sorry.... that's what you get when you have drunk men at 1 am with pizza cravings.
pizza hut: *awkward laugh* it's alright, sir. is that all for you? breadsticks? wings? soda?
matt: YES YES YES.
rian (in background): SENIORS 09 BITCH
matt: three orders of breadsticks, five orders of 44 peice wings... three blue ranch, two hot.
pizza hut: any drinks?
matt: six 2 liters of coke.
vinny (in background): WHAT ABOUT MY JAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BOIIIIIIII
matt: SHUT UP VINNY
pizza hut: is that all for you?
matt: yeah what's the total
jack (in background): 9 INCHESSSSSSSS OF MEAAAAAAAT!
pizza hut: that would be 295.33
matt: WHO'S GOT FUCKIN MONEY?! jack i know YOU do.
jack (in background): I MAKE IT RAIIIIIIIIIN
pizza hut: it'll be there in 45 minutes.
matt: really?
pizza hut: yes...have a nice day.
matt: god bless you, kind soul.
pizza hut: no...god bless YOU.
well maybe if you communicated with me better i would know that there is something else wrong
i'm gonna go get my girlfriend
we are not about to have an all day fight because i’m a grump when i wake up.
Do you not understand?
You know I love you. Don’t be fucking stupid. All I wanted was to sleep in on my day off, it doesn’t matter that I’d already been sleeping for 12 hours, I wanted to sleep more, I’m sorry that I got mad when you called me 5 times in a row so I could take you to get your paycheck that you should’ve gotten tuesday. I guess I really am a horrible person for wanting to...
Joelle is
falling asleep next to me. there is no greater feeling.